Deathwalker 5.1

            And not only him. My stomach turned as I realized that if Gri had been close enough, I might’ve killed him, too. Bile rose in my throat, and the chills grew until my entire body shook. My heart raced in time with each tremor. Huddling in on myself, I wrapped my arms around each other and dug my fingers into my own flesh. My chest felt like it would burst, and I was shaking so hard I accidentally smacked my head against the wall. Oddly enough, it helped. So I did it again.
            Think, Seph! Think! I banged my head lightly against the wall all the while arguing with my insides. Could. I could have killed them. But I didn’t. It didn’t happen. And it wouldn’t. My pulse started to slow. If I could just think, I could fix it. I could keep it from happening.
            With each thought, the chills and the nausea started to fade. Collapsed like a Leytling in higher gravity, I lay slack and gasping in reaction and relief. I repeated the last thought like a mantra: I could keep it from happening. When the last of the reaction faded, I reached out a shaky hand to pull a cover over my cold, limp body. Closing my eyes, I focused on what went wrong.
            I had been tired. What an understatement. Exhausted and brain dead was more like it. After Tomas, headquarters, Ter Dryst, and Ter Fless, frazzled was probably the nicest word for my brains. But how could I avoid that? The panic wanted to rise again. No. I squashed it firmly. No, it wasn’t only being tired. I’d been tired before and never put anyone at risk. It wasn’t even my temper because I’d been a lot angrier and never threatened anyone.
            But not when I’d been that tired. And not when people kept poking me and prodding me to test me. I realized that my teeth were gritted from the thought alone. Well, shit. I blew out a long breath. I was going to have to put a stop to that. For all of our sakes.

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