Category Archives: Plays

It Is Not For You

SAGE: It is not for you.

ADOM: They need help. I could help.

EBO: You could. But can you?

ADOM: You don’t think-

SAGE: -It is not for you.

ADOM: I don’t care! I’m going to help.

EBO: Adom, no! [Sighs angrily.] That fool. They’ll… Oh, my gods! We have to save him.

SAGE: It is not for you.

EBO: How can you say that when… Sage? Sage!


6 Word Short Story Play: Assumptions

A: Hello!

B: Goodbye!

A: You mean, “Hello.”

B: Nope.


Catch Up: An Exercise in Silliness

SC: [sing-songy]

Catch up, ketchup, caught –
A single line of thought.
So easily squished, so easily dead.
Are you sure I can’t just read instead?

 

IC: What is that even about? Ketchup?

SC: Don’t judge!


Blunt and to the Point: A Short Dialogue

A: My life is blunt!

B: …what?

A: I have no function! No percentage!

B: Percentage? Of what? Do you need help with math? There’s a button on your calculator that-

A: -No! I’m talking about my existence! My viability!

B: …your life?

A: Yes! It’s rounded.

B: You mean you’re well-rounded? Or it’s a circle.

A: No! It’s… worn. [B raises his eyebrows.] It’s… dull.

B: Oohh. You’re bored.

A: …what? No, I am person.

B: What? Oh. No. Bored. B-o-r-e-d. Your life doesn’t entertain or amuse you. It’s no fun.

A: But my life is fun! Very fun! I have fun for keeps. Endlessly

B: …ok…then, what’s the problem?

A: My life is blunt! Worn! [At B’s bemused expression, A let’s out a frustrated exclamation, pulls out a smart phone, and does a quick search.] Pointless! It’s pointless!

B: …

A: So what should I do?

B: Don’t teach.


Division in the Dark: A Short Play

[The stage is completely dark.]

HAEL: I don’t see why it always has to be about them.

SOL: You’re one to talk.

HAEL: Oh, everybody quiet! Mr. Sensitive has something to say.

SOL: Says the wimp who practically explodes at the slightest pressure!

HAEL: Explodes!

SOL: Explodes. Turns bright red, swells up, and eventually bursts-

HAEL: At least I don’t scream and whimper at the slightest bit of h-

AN: -Hush. Or they’ll hear you! [In the silence, Hael and Sol’s glares could almost be felt.]… Hael, you called the meeting.

HAEL: My point was that they get first dibs. Always. If they’re the slightest bit unhappy, we all lose out. Cal, remember the cushy one? The one you said you could fall asleep sitting in?

CAL: Do I remember! Ohhh, it was so nice. Like Heaven on Earth!

HAEL: You’d’ve liked to stay there, wouldn’t you? But what happened?

CAL: They picked the hard one. The one that poked me if I moved wrong.

HAEL: Right. And what about the soft, fuzzy one that you liked so much, SOL?

SOL: They nixed it. Said it didn’t give them enough head room.

HAEL: And the one that wrapped around you so nicely An?

AN: Vetoed. It wasn’t wide enough.

HAEL: And we all know what happened to me last time. They left me out in the cold. [Murmurs of agreement] So what are we waiting for?

CAL: But what can we do? No one listens to us!

HAEL: They’ll have to if we all speak up. They can’t keep ignoring us!

SOL: Hael.

HAEL: Can’t keep treating us like-

SOL: -Hael!

[An uncomfortable silence falls.]

BIG T: Hello. Quite a crowd you have here.

HAEL: We’re just talking here.

BIG T: And you didn’t invite us? Hael, I’m hurt.

HAEL: [under his breath] I wish.

JUNIOR: You got something to say?

HAEL: Yeah. Yeah, I got something to say.

SOL: Hael, don’t.

HAEL: Don’t what? Don’t tell him what we’ve all been thinking? Why shouldn’t I?

AN: Hael…

HAEL: No, really. What can he do to me that he hasn’t already done?

JUNIOR: You watch your mouth-

BIG T: No, no, Junior. That is no way to speak to a friend. Please, Hael, continue. Tell me how I have wronged you.

SOL, CAL, & AN: Hael, don’t-

HAEL: You cut us out! You shoot down our decisions at the least inconvenience to you but leave us to suffer!

JUNIOR: You- [He cuts out abruptly, leaving only silence.]

BIG T: It saddens me to hear you speak like this, Hael. And to see you others here. It hurts me that you could forget all that we do for you.

HAEL: All that you- [He cuts off abruptly with a muffled grunt although we can’t see the cause.]

BIG T: Have we not stood in front of you and protected you? Have we not shielded you when we were thrown into that chair? Or the wall? And did you thank us? No. Instead, you begrudge us what little comfort and protection we ask for in return-

AN: -Oh, no Mr. T. That’s not what-

LT: -You do not interrupt Big T when he is talking. [Silence.]

BIG T: Thank you, LT. Now,… where was I?

JUNIOR: Protection.

BIG T: Oh, of course. We ask so little in return. And you begrudge us this. It really hurts me. I feel it here in my heart that my friends could be so cold. It makes me very sad. I wish I could forget these hard words between us. I wish there was a way for that to happen.

LT: Perhaps, if they apologized, Big T. Perhaps, that would heal this pain.

BIG T: LT, again you show why you are my right hand man. Yes. An apology. And, I think, a promise never to bring such harsh words between us again. What do you think?

CAL: Oh, absolutely, we all apologize, don’t we, Hael? Hael.

HAEL: I’m sorry.

BIG T: So nice and kind. I feel better for having had this talk with you, Hael.

SOL: Umm… Mr. T- I mean, Big. I was thinking. See… well, first off, what you said is absolutely true. I don’t want you to think we disagree about that. But… um… the thing is that what you said before works for us, too.

AN: Sol-

SOL: No, it’s important. Who takes the weight of everyone, including them? Who stands in front of them and protects them with every single step placed? I do. You rely on me as much as we rely on you.

LT: I suggest you think very carefully about what you are saying.

SOL: I have. And you know what? Hael does the same job as you every time we go in the other direction. He protects us, and last time, you even took away the same little protection that you claim we begrudge you.

JUNIOR: That little sniveler! The same as- [He cuts off for no audible reason.]

SOL: Yes, exactly the same. Except it’s much harder to cut him off and leave him to fend for himself, isn’t it?

JUNIOR: You! Why I oughta-

BIG T: -You-you dare suggest-

SOL: -yes, I do. It would be simple enough. Your position isn’t the most secure here, after all.

JUNIOR: And whose is? Yours?

SOL: No. An’s is. [Silence.] An could cut us all off and leave us on our own. [He and An exchange a meaningful glance.]

AN: I would rather not. If I were given an alternative.

JUNIOR: Oh, you go right ahead. We’ll show you- [He cuts off abruptly with a muffled grunt although we can’t see the cause. There is a pause.]

BIG T: And you have an alternative in mind, I think.

AN: Yes. An equal say.

SOL: Only equal. We don’t want to take away your protection either. All we want is the same protection for ourselves. [Silence.]

BIG T: You have given me much to think about. We will speak again tomorrow.

[The Ts exit.]

AN: Oh my God, Sol, you did it!

CAL: Did you hear that, Hael! Sol got him to think about it! Way to go, Sol!

HAEL: Yeah, I admit that was pretty brave, Sol. Maybe, you’re not Mr. Sensitive after all. … Sol?

AN: Sol?

CAL: I think he fainted!

HAEL: Ha! I told you he couldn’t take the heat.


Scary Stories in the Dark

The following conversation occurs in absolute darkness.

TC: And then, she poured boiling water directly into my mouth!

[Gasping in unison]

PC: No!

DC: She didn’t!

TC: She did.

B: They all do. They’ll drown you in water so hot, it’ll peel the enamel off.

TC: [To PC] Or melt you. [To DC] Or leave you to slowly fall apart.

PC: No, no, they can’t!

TC: They will.

DC: Not to us! We’ll run away.

B: [With a mocking laugh] How? We’re trapped here.

DC: They have to open the door sometime. We’ll make a run for it!

PC: But where will we go? We-

TC: Hush! They’re coming.

A sliver of light appears and then widens as the door opens. The camera angle changes, showing a hand reaching into a cabinet of dishes. From the top shelf, a plastic cup and a dixie cup topple over the edge. The human looks startled, shakes her head, and tosses them in the trash. Then, she takes out a plate and closes the cabinet, returning the screen to darkness.

TC: [Laughing] Works every time.


6 Word Short Story in a Play: Bon Appetit

SHARON: Dad! Is something burning?

DAD: Dinner’s ready!


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