A: My life is blunt!
A: I have no function! No percentage!
B: Percentage? Of what? Do you need help with math? There’s a button on your calculator that-
A: -No! I’m talking about my existence! My viability!
B: …your life?
A: Yes! It’s rounded.
B: You mean you’re well-rounded? Or it’s a circle.
A: No! It’s… worn. [B raises his eyebrows.] It’s… dull.
B: Oohh. You’re bored.
A: …what? No, I am person.
B: What? Oh. No. Bored. B-o-r-e-d. Your life doesn’t entertain or amuse you. It’s no fun.
A: But my life is fun! Very fun! I have fun for keeps. Endlessly
B: …ok…then, what’s the problem?
A: My life is blunt! Worn! [At B’s bemused expression, A let’s out a frustrated exclamation, pulls out a smart phone, and does a quick search.] Pointless! It’s pointless!
A: So what should I do?
B: Don’t teach.
PLEASURE CENTER: We don’t really need to get up at 6.
LOGIC CENTER: Yes, we do. I figured it out last night.
PLEASURE CENTER: But you were being overly cautious. No, we can get up at 6:30 and still have plenty of time.
LOGIC CENTER: What? No. What data are you basing this off of?
SENSORY INPUT: The bed is very nice and warm, and closing our eyes and drifting would feel very nice.
LOGIC CENTER: You are not helping.
PLEASURE CENTER: That’s right. Reset the phone. Close our eyes. Mmmmm.
LOGIC CENTER: [At a shout but fading into the distance] No, don’t. Don’t listen to them! They’re being unreasonable!
This is an experiment (an experiment within an experiment! Oooh! How meta!). Seriously, though, I’m not sure if there are rules for this. I decided to count only the dialogue and stage directions (not the character names).
CHARON: Condolences, welcome, congratulations, blah, blah, blah. I will be your ferryman for eternity. Place 5 euro in the box and enter.
BUSINESSMAN: Euro? You mean an obol. Here you go.
CHARON: Euro only.
CHARON: Go to the exchange.
BUSINESSMAN: But the stories say an obol!
CHARON: Since when?
BUSINESSMAN: When? Forever!
CHARON: You’re relying on that?