Compare political behavior with a toddler’s.
Tag Archives: Short Story
The following is heard from a dark stage.
RED: Hold on, Chip!
AL: Yeah, you can do it! Just another thirty seconds!
CHIP: [gasping] No way! I can’t do it!
RED: Yes, you can! Show us those muscles!
CHIP: God, it hurts!
T: Push through the burn! You’re almost there!
AL: 15 seconds!
CHIP: And then what? Start all over again? Hold up someone heavier?
T: No negative thoughts!
RED: That’s right, Chip! You can do it! You’ll get stronger and-
CHIP: -And they’ll finally getting around to fixing me? You really think so?
AL: 10 seconds!
T: Focus on your balance, you’ve got to-
CHIP: Shut up! What do you have to hold up, huh? Dishes! The second someone leans on you, they get yelled at!
RED: Chip, calm down. You’re almost-
CHIP: [Screaming] -Almost where, Red? Almost where? Almost fixed? Do you really think they’ll fix me if I hold out? They won’t replace me?
AL: [quietly] 5 seconds
CHIP: [Tired] Forget it.
There’s a horrible crash and then silence.
I had a trip this morning, but since I expected to be back by mid-afternoon, I figured I’d have plenty of time for a Deathwalker post. Yeah, no.
The drive there went fine. The planned event went fine.
One problem. When leaving the parking lot (at noon) to get lunch, we found that my back tire was flat. And from the brief drive around the lot, it had come off the rim.
No problem. Sure, we’ll have a slight delay, but I have AAA. It’ll be fine. They send a truck to get the spare on or (I thought) tow us to a local shop for a new tire.
One problem. Being Sunday, a lot of shops are closed.
No problem. We spent some of the hour wait scrounging on my phone for repair shops that would still be open. There are a couple not too far out, so we’d be good to go as soon as the tow truck showed up.
One problem. It wasn’t a tow truck. It was a pickup with supplies to put on my spare tire.
No problem. The spare tire looks pretty good. It should get us to the mechanic.
One problem. The spare won’t come off. Ever seen how a spare’s attached underneath a car? There’s a cable that’s tightened to hold it up there, and when you want it down, you loosen the cable. Well, the cable came down to dangle beneath the car, but the spare didn’t move.
No problem. The AAA service guy jacked the car up and pulled the spare off sans some rust (what was presumably holding it in place). He checked it, inflated it, and lowered the car to remove the other tire and put on the spare one.
One problem. It’s really cold out, and there are people getting seriously chilled in the wind and snow because the back of the car is open.
No problem. I have blankets in the back, so they bundle up.
One problem. Instead of turning, the second lug nut and a bit of the stud snapped off. But he sprayed on some lubricant and got the next one off. And snapped the next one off… he didn’t want to risk trying any more.
No problem. He’ll call a tow truck, and they’ll take us to the mechanics.
One problem. It’ll be another 1-1.5 hour wait plus the time to fix the tire (and replace the lug nuts). And when I call the mechanic they say they’ll take us to, I get voice mail. Google says they’re closed.
No problem. I’ll call AAA back and have them tow us all the way home. Why waste the time waiting for the fix now?
One problem. Their tow trucks can only take 2 passengers. We had 4. And it’s out of my tow range. And the tow truck will still be 1-1.5 hours.
No problem. We checked, and Enterprise is open. We’ll call and get a rental car delivered. And my car can get towed home.
One problem. The Enterprise within range to deliver to us is not open on Sunday.
No problem. We’ll go ahead and tow to a nearby mechanic we found, and a wonderful, generous person will give the other 2 passengers a ride there (Thank you, wonderfully generous person!).
One problem. The mechanics close at 6, and it won’t be done til around 7 (are you keeping track of when we started?).
No. Problem. The mechanics will stay late to get it done (wonderful guys, all!).
One problem. They don’t have the studs or the lug nuts. And a lot of the shops are closed.
No problem. There’s a couple of stores open.
One problem. The computer says they only have one.
No… problem. The mechanic calls a few. One thinks he has 2. No, 1. No, 2.
One problem. You know what? His computer’s doing funny things.
No problem? He’ll check in the back and send over the 2 he thinks he has. You guys can go eat (finally!), and we’ll call you if there’s an issue. We walk to Panera (which was close – yay!) and got lunch/dinner (it’s now 4ish). We get food and warmth (double yay!).
One problem. I get a call from the mechanic. The studs and lug nuts they sent over are the wrong ones, and they won’t work.
No problem. They ordered some from another store. They’re on their way, and the mechanic was able to get some of the work done while waiting for them.
One problem. The mechanics finished the car at about 6:35 (already dark), and we still had a 2+ hour drive home…
And that’s why there’s no Deathwalker update tonight. I’ll try to do 2 this week (or a longer one) to make up for it. Thanks for your patience and good night!