Going to work with a hangover.
Category Archives: Fiction
A Dream Is a Lie Your Brain Makes
Faster than a speeding workday,
Stronger than a worknight shot,
The hero saves us all from drudgery!
Or not (I lie a lot).
The Old Man & The Stairs
OLD MAN: Yeah, I know you hate that picture. You’ve told me so since the day I put it up. [There is silence as the old man moves toward a stairway.] No, I ain’t gonna take it down. You can save your breath and stop askin’ me. [Silence again as the man pauses by the picture as if listening.] Well, I like it, and it’s my house. [He reaches the base of the stairs.] What the- [Grunts and straining sounds can be heard.] You stop that! [More strain.] You let me up the stairs right now, or so help me, I-
WOMAN: Dad? What’s the matter?
OLD MAN: [Glaring at the air in front of him.] Nothing’s the matter.
WOMAN: But… you were shouting. Do you need help up the stairs?
OLD MAN: I’m fine. Go back in the other room and watch your show.
WOMAN: But-
OLD MAN: Now, it’s my house. If I want to shout a bit, I can. You go leave me to it.
After giving him one last worried glance, she leaves.
WOMAN: He said he was fine.
MAN: He didn’t sound fine. If he’s having trouble with the stairs-
WOMAN: His doctor said he’s healthy as a horse!
MAN: But what about his mind? You heard him just now. It might be time.
WOMAN: He’d hate to leave this house…
The old man’s glare at the air hardens.
OLD MAN: [In a whisper] You ever try anything like that again, and I’ll burn this house down before I take down that picture.
The lights go down as the old man easily climbs the stairs.
The Old Woman & The Light
OLD WOMAN: I’m sorry that it bothers you, dear, but I always rock when I knit. I’m not sure I could stop now if I tried. [There is a pause. In the silence, a light flickers.] Yes, it does. It’s an old rocking chair. Nearly as old as I am. [She laughs.] It could be me creaking. [The light turns on and off abruptly and repeatedly while glowing brighter.] Now, now. Remember: it’s not your house anymore.
[A door opens and closes, and footsteps approach. The light blinks off as Peter enters.]
PETER: Hi, Grandma!
OLD WOMAN: Peter! What a nice surprise. Come here, and give me a kiss.
PETER: [He leans down and kisses her cheek. Then, he glances around the room.] Were you on the phone? I thought I heard voices.
OLD WOMAN: [Laughing.] Oh, you know how it is with us old folks. Sometimes, we natter away just to prove we’re still here.